Pain is Inevitable. Suffering is Optional.

Counseling tips and techniques for emotional, mental & spiritual healing and growth.

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” I have this famous quote on my office wall which I refer to quite often.


Many clients going through large challenges in their lives, sometimes cross the line from pain into suffering. As we know, situations and experiences are context related. When trauma events occur that are real in factual nature, we all experience suffering to some degree for a period of time.

What I am pointing out is how during times of painful experiences, the experience of pain is a natural phase of feeling, healing and growing through the challenging times in life.


There is a process of grieving we all go through in some way when we face these times. My concern for clients is when they fall into the rabbit hole of suffering, create a victim identity and become addicted to the story and energy.

What makes the difference is how we manage our mind and the story we choose to tell ourselves. When we experience neglect, intrusiveness, betrayal or loss, we will feel pain.


The question is, do we give our power away to the experience of the pain? In the darkest of times, we can use our mind to frame the meaning of what is in such a way that serves our growth. We can re-frame the meaning as being a participant and not a victim to life.













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